In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear writes that “a craving is the sense that something is missing.”
In the Bible, the apostle James writes these words, speaking of desires and wishes that cause conflict both within us and in our relationships:
What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. (James 4:1-2 ESV)
None of us are immune to cravings and desires.
We crave simple and necessary things like food and love and security and rest.
But sometimes our cravings go deeper and cause greater problems, especially when those cravings and desires are unable to be satisfied.
To go back to the quote above, when we crave something, we are feeling as if we’re missing something.
We crave things out of a perceived lack.
A Personal Example
I know this has been true for me.
Often this perceived lack comes from my bad habit of making comparisons between my life and the life of others, between what I have and what they have, or what I’ve achieved and what others have achieved.
I see a guy my age driving a new Ford truck, and I crave that. I want to be able to buy that myself. I perceive a lack in my life – why can’t I afford something like that? Something is missing. What I have suddenly is no longer enough.
I find myself craving a new truck, better vacations, a bigger income – material things that I know ultimately don’t matter. But my weak human mind tells me that I am missing something that other people have, and that I need it. So, a craving kicks in.
What else do we crave and long for?
– Power
– Success
– Financial wellbeing
– Belonging and deeper connection
– Sex
– Acceptance
James Clear goes on to say, “Desire is the difference between where you are now and where you want to be in the future.”
We look at what we currently have, or our current state or situation, and we declare, “It’s not good enough. This isn’t enough.” So, we set our sights on something “better”, something that will make us “happier” or more fulfilled.
We crave that thing because we think we are lacking something.
But the Bible tells us that this behavior, this longing and craving for what we don’t have, does nothing but cause harm – quarrels; fights; wars within ourselves.
We desire, and we can’t obtain, and this leads us to frustration, anger, disappointment, and a lack of contentment.
Even as a nearly 40-year-old man, I can admit that I’ve pouted and acted like a baby when I didn’t get my way, when my craving was unable to be satisfied.
My perceived lack comes from a failure to be content.
When I realize, however, that what I have is enough, and I practice gratitude and contentment rather than want, those cravings begin to die. I’m then able to see the good in my current situation.
A Change in Perspective
What we need is a change in perspective. We need to be able to look at our lives – what we have, what we’re doing, what’s been given to us – and say, “I am pleased with this.”
We need to be able to look at the thing that we’re craving and say, “It is not necessary for my happiness. It may be pleasurable. I may enjoy it. It’s natural to want this. But my survival doesn’t depend on it. I can still be okay.”
We also have to understand that our cravings come from somewhere deeper. God created us and wired us with certain needs and desires.
We naturally – by God’s design – desire belonging and connection.
We have natural desires for sex, for love, for nourishment from food. God even created us with the desires for power, for control, and for approval.
The issue is that we’ve corrupted these God-given desires. We’ve turned them into idols. And we’ve looked to earthly or carnal or physical things to satisfy them, when our satisfaction and fulfillment was always supposed to come from God.
God should be the source of fulfillment for every desire, craving, and longing we feel.
We also need to understand that the thing we’re craving is not really the thing we’re craving.
Let me explain that:
I might have a craving or a longing for a certain food or beverage. Maybe I think a cold drink at the end of a hard day would make me feel better.
But what am I hoping it does for me? I’m hoping for relaxation, for comfort, for a relief from stress and the pressure of my life.
What if that beverage is not actually the thing I should look to for that comfort and relief? What if the relief and comfort I am truly longing for can only be found in God?
A cold beverage may be nice at the end of a long day. But ultimately it will never be able to satisfy the thing my soul is actually longing for. That can only be found in communion with God. The rest and comfort and relief I’m desiring can ultimately only be found in Him.
The thing I am craving is not what my soul actually needs.
When I’m able to change this perspective and have a better understanding of the cravings I THINK I have, I can be freed from their hold.
I can then begin to pursue the fulfillment of my deepest longings in my relationship with God.
Final Thoughts
I’ll end with a thought from Augustine, from his Confessions, in which he states so clearly the root issue and need we all have:
You arouse us so that praising you may bring us joy, because you have made us and drawn us to yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.
Our hearts are always going to be restless until they rest in God.
Our cravings will always threaten to overpower us until we realize their underlying source.
Our desires will always wage war within us until we surrender them to the God who created them, and we realize that what we are really longing for can only be found in closeness with the God who calls us to Himself.
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