This quote has been floating around in my head today: What you focus on becomes your reality.
That’s a challenge for me. I’ve realized that lately I’ve been feeling a certain way about my life, primarily because of the focus of my mind.
When I focus on all the things that are not what they should be or what I wish they would be, when that becomes the thing that I spend all my time thinking about and noticing, my perceived reality is going to be negative. The outcome is a perception of my life that says, “things aren’t good enough. You don’t have enough. You are not enough.”
William James once wrote that our “thoughts become perception, and perception becomes reality.” If we want to change our reality, then, we have to change our thoughts.
My reality is how I’m experiencing the real life in front of me. Obviously, I am not always able to change the things that are true about my life (my circumstances, my situation, my problems). But I can change how I’m experiencing those realities and the perception I have about my experiences.
And if I want this reality to change, it has to start with what’s going on in my head.
It starts with what I’m choosing to focus on.
It’s the difference between a scarcity mindset and an abundance mindset.
A scarcity mindset says that I don’t have enough. It focuses on all the things that are lacking or imperfect or still not what they should or could be.
It looks at my financial situation, my health, my time, my family, my job, my resources, my life as a whole and declares, “insufficient; not enough.”
If I focus on that – noticing and always lamenting what I don’t have enough of or what’s not going well (I don’t have enough money; I don’t have enough time; I don’t have enough energy; I’m not strong enough, fast enough, healthy enough; my relationships aren’t rich enough, etc) – then what will become the reality in my mind?
A sense of disappointment, of frustration, of shame. A lack of happiness and contentment. An inability to see the good in my life. A failure to appreciate what I have been given and what I can enjoy right now.
On the other hand, if my focus is on my abundance, things change.
When I let my thoughts linger on what is good in my life and I choose a practice of gratitude rather than complaint, my reality becomes more positive.
This doesn’t mean I just gloss over the bad things, or that I live in a state of denial. And this isn’t about pop-culture positivity that says, “Don’t worry, just be happy!” It’s really about being more mindful, more tuned into what is already working and how I can have more about that, and more focused on the things that I want to be true in my life, rather than what isn’t yet.
In life, in my home, in my career, in my finances, in my physical health, in my relationships, I am choosing to focus on what is going well and the abundance I already possess, rather than on what is lacking. And where there is lack, what I wish were true for me, I will pray for and work towards. Because what I focus on and then pursue, I can potentially make my reality.
To learn more about the idea of scarcity mindset versus abundance mindset, check out this podcast episode or the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey, available on Amazon here.
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